Keeping the Faith in Tough Times

I have been thinking a lot about what faith means to me... and how my faith in God has grown and been tested in the past year.  This has been, by far, the toughest year of my life.  There were a few family deaths... something that we have not experienced in such close proximity as this.  My Aunt Tina passed away unexpectedly last November, then a couple days later it was my nieces mother.  This summer my uncle passed away, then in November of this year my sister had her daughter "sleeping" (stillborn).  I felt as though my family was put into a spotlight... that we were overlooked for so long and now were put to the test.  A test of faith?  I sure felt tested in that area.  TO THE MAX!   I will never forget where I was and what I was doing when I found out about these losses.  I will never forget the heartache. 
When I heard that my sister was going through an emergency C-section, I prayed for her and my nieces safety.  I was on a field trip with my preschoolers at a Pumpkin farm... and trying to keep my composure.  I remember smiling with the kids and playing, but feeling incredibly scared, hopeful... and lost. 
After I found out that my niece did not make it (my Angel niece, Stella Grace, I love you), I was ANGRY.  I was angry that my prayer was not answered.  I couldn't understand why God would take my sister's child from her arms.  I still don't understand it, and I don't think that I ever will.  I am only human, I know... but that was the biggest test on my faith. 
Since then, I still question why this has happened.  Especially when I see the pain and loss in my sister and her family's eyes.  I know that God as his plan, I pray that He can put it out there for us to see... that He can put his hands on our hearts and ease the pain. 
Today, I watched a video that my sister put together in memory of my angel niece, Stella Grace.  I felt as though I was pulled back and started to grieve all over again.  In some ways I know that this is a good thing.  I need to remember her.  I know that I will never forget her... it is hard to watch the movie and see my sister's belly moving... knowing that my niece was sooo alive and well, then she was gone.  I really wanted to watch her grow and learn.  I pray that someday I can meet her in Heaven, and that she will know me. 
God, please help me get through this.  e